Sharing My Child’s Autism Diagnosis

Who Should I Tell About My Child’s Autism?

Deciding whether to tell others about your child's autism diagnosis can feel like a big decision. There is no right or wrong time to share the news, and you do not have to tell everyone at once.

You can decide who to tell, when to tell them and how much information to share based on your child's needs, your family's circumstances and your own comfort.

It is also normal to feel unsure about how others may react. Some family members and friends may be supportive and encouraging, while others may not understand autism or may respond in ways that feel dismissive.

How Might Others React?

In Singapore, some parents may feel pressure to protect their family's privacy or avoid judgement when sharing their child's autism diagnosis. Parents may also be unsure how their family and friends will respond.

People who are unfamiliar with autism may make comments such as, “He does not look like he is on the autism spectrum.” Although such comments may be intended to reassure, they can feel dismissive or may reflect misconceptions about autism.

Remember that you do not have to convince everyone to understand your child's diagnosis immediately. It may take time for family members and friends to learn about autism and understand how they can support your child.

If someone's response is difficult or upsetting, consider reaching out to other parents of children on the autism spectrum. Connecting with people who have had similar experiences can provide reassurance, practical advice and emotional support.

Will People Treat My Child Differently?

You may worry that people will treat your child differently after learning about their diagnosis. This is an understandable concern, particularly when others may have misconceptions about autism or may not know how to interact with a child on the autism spectrum.

Sharing information can sometimes help others understand your child's communication, behaviour or support needs. For example, explaining that your child may need more time to respond, finds certain sounds overwhelming or benefits from familiar routines can help others respond with greater understanding.

However, you do not have to disclose your child's diagnosis simply to explain every difference in behaviour. You can choose what information is useful and appropriate to share.

When Should I Share?

There is no fixed timeline for sharing your child's autism diagnosis.

Some parents may choose to tell people soon after receiving the diagnosis so they can access support. Others may need time to process the diagnosis and understand what it means for their child and family before talking to others.

It is okay to start by sharing the diagnosis on a need-to-know basis. For example, you may first tell professionals who support your child, such as their teachers, medical professionals or social workers.

As you become more comfortable, you can decide whether to share the information with other family members, friends or people in your community.

Who Should I Share?

You may find it helpful to consider the following questions before deciding whether to share your child's diagnosis:

• Will sharing this information help me or my child receive support?
• Could sharing help us access educational, financial, medical or social support?
• Will this person be better able to understand and support my child if they know about the diagnosis?
• Could knowing about the diagnosis help this person understand a particular situation or behaviour?
• Is this someone I trust to respect my child's privacy?
• Is this someone I am close to and want to share this part of our family's journey with?

You may also choose to tell different people different amounts of information.

For example, your child's teacher may need to understand their learning and communication needs, while a relative may simply need to know how they can make family gatherings more comfortable for your child.

How Can I Explain My Child’s Diagnosis?

You do not need to explain everything about autism in one conversation.

You could start with a simple explanation such as:

You can then share more information depending on the person's relationship with your child and the support they may provide.

It can also help to focus on your child's individual strengths, interests and support needs, rather than assuming that all children on the autism spectrum are the same.

What If I Am Not Ready To Tell Others?

It is okay if you are still coming to terms with your child's diagnosis.

You do not have to share the diagnosis before you feel ready. Starting with a small circle of trusted people or professionals can give you time to understand the diagnosis and consider what information you are comfortable sharing.

Your child's privacy is also important. As your child grows, they may develop their own views about their diagnosis and who they want to know. Consider sharing information thoughtfully and respectfully, particularly when speaking about your child's personal experiences.

You Do Not Have To Go Through This Alone

Connecting with other parents of children on the autism spectrum can provide a valuable source of support. Parent support groups can offer a safe space to share experiences, ask questions and learn from families who have been through similar experiences.

Parent and caregiver courses can also help you build your understanding of autism, learn practical strategies and connect with other families.

Explore parent and caregiver courses organised by ARC(S) Learning Academy to learn more about autism and ways to support your child.

Explore Parent And Caregiver Courses